


Ret'urcye mhi

by FortuitousOccurrence



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28177371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FortuitousOccurrence/pseuds/FortuitousOccurrence
Summary: Do not read!! If you have not seen Chapter 16!!Ret'urcye mhi: literally "Maybe we'll meet again"Reader and Din are left reeling after Grogu leaves with the jedi. They comfort each other for a moment, but they've already got another problem looming over them.
Relationships: Din Djarin & Reader, Din Djarin & You, Din Djarin/Reader, Din Djarin/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

As the jedi left with your child in his arms, you turned your attention to Din. You didn’t need the Force to know that he felt deeply the overwhelming loss of his son. You both knew that this was what was best for Grogu but it didn’t change the intensity of your own attachment to him and the pain of letting him leave. You reached out and placed your hand on Din’s arm. The fact that his helmet was off didn’t occur to you in the moment though it did seem nearly impossible to ignore. He turned his head to look at you on instinct when he felt the weight of your hand on his armor. 

It was the first time you’d ever really seen his face and the sight of it broke your heart all over again. There had been times in the dark of the night or when he tipped his helmet up to drink and eat that you had gotten a glimpse but you’d never laid your eyes on him in a way where you could really see him. The tears in his eyes and tortured expression made it clear even if you didn’t have such a close relationship that this man was broken and struggling to contain his own sorrow. He looked away at first, trying to blink away the tears, and when he brought his eyes back to yours, a new fear crossed over his expression. You had forgotten everything else going on around you. The two of you had just lost someone important to you and no one else in that room felt his loss as keenly as you did. 

Slowly, hesitantly, you reached up to his cheek. His eyes followed your hand as it trembled a little before meeting his skin. His breathing faltered as he locked eyes with you again. He knew you felt it too. In any other circumstance, you would have made a point to try and memorize his face but that didn’t even cross your mind. You wanted to comfort him, to ease his pain but you knew there’s nothing that could make any of it easier. He stayed there with his hands at his sides and his face in your hand as he felt his tears spill over. He didn’t want them to but there was nothing he could do to stop them. You brought your other hand to the other side of his face, wiping his tears with your thumb. His breathing shuddered as he tried to steady himself. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before pressing his lips together. 

“We’ll see him again,” your own trembling voice whispered. You tried to make yourself smile, trying to put on a brave face. Squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to fight your own tears. You were a comfort for each other, being able to share this pain. When you opened your eyes again and looked up into his brown eyes, it felt hopeful and painful all at once. The pain of the loss of the child. The pain you both shared. The hope that you both shared of seeing him again, of being a family again. As long and as often as you had wished to look into his eyes like this before, you couldn’t hold his gaze any longer. You took your hands from his face and laid your head against his breastplate. Breathing deeply to steady yourself and push down your own tears, you wrapped your arms around him. His own breathing faltered a moment before you felt his arms around you and his head dip down to press his cheek against your hair. You wondered if you were the second person, after the child, to touch him with any affection since he was a child. If you were one of the first to see his face and react with love. 

He opened his mouth, wanting to say something. He wasn’t sure what he could say. Nothing could make it better, especially not now, not moments after the child had disappeared from your sight. 

“We’ll see him again,” he spoke softly, only for you. “I promise.” 

You weren’t sure how long it was before the two of you separated from each other. Picking up his helmet, you held it out to him and he replaced it on his head. When the two of you turned around to see what the others were doing. Cara was watching you with a sympathetic, if slightly worried, look on her face. You rubbed your hands over your face, trying to clear any wetness that remained as you faced the others. Bo Katan was speaking with Koska on the other side of the bridge. Fennec had taken a seat by one of the workstations and was looking over her blaster. Gideon still laid on the floor unconscious. 

“What now?” you asked, looking to Din. He picked up the Darksaber in his hands again and stared down at it a moment. He didn’t speak as he began walking purposefully over to Bo Katan.

“I’m not fighting over this,” he announced, dropping it on the console beside her. Before she could respond, he turned and began to return to you. 

“I can’t accept it,” she responded. He kept walking towards the exit. You and Cara looked at each other then back at Din. Cara went to pick up Gideon and you followed Din to the door, marching side by side out of the bridge. A blast flew between you and Din causing you both to whirl around to face Bo Katan who stood in the center of the room with her blaster raised. “You know that’s not how this works.”

“Don’t,” he warned. Her eyes flicked to you and her blaster followed. “No!” He jumped in front of you and held you behind him with one hand, barely saving you from being shot. 

“Are you crazy?” Cara shouted, dropping a still unconscious Gideon for her blaster. 

“Drop it,” Koska demanded, her own blaster aimed for Cara who had her blaster trained on Bo Katan. 

“Don’t hurt them,” Din pleaded. 

“You know what has to be done,” she reminded him, blaster still aimed at him. “If you won’t do it willingly, I’ll have to force you.”

“Alright,” he said finally. “But let them leave first.” She lowered her weapon and looked at the others in the room. 

“Alright,” she agreed. Cara and Koska both lowered their own blasters and watched what Din would do next. He turned around and looked at you. 

“You have to leave. Go with Cara and Fennec to rendezvous with Boba,” he told you. 

“No, I’m not going to leave you. Do you know what you’re getting into?” you asked him in a not so hushed tone. “I’m not going to leave you to die,” you felt your voice break on the last word. 

“I’m not going to die,” he tried to reassure you. “It’ll be like with Gideon. She doesn’t have to kill me.” You glanced back at Bo Katan beyond him. He was effectively shielding you from the rest of the room with his body. 

“You don’t know that,” you retorted. “I don’t trust her. She’s desperate. She’ll do whatever it takes, and that includes killing you if she feels like she needs to,” you pleaded with him. 

“I’m not dying today,” he repeated, taking your hand in his. “I promise you.”

“I know you’re plenty capable, Din, but forgive me if I don’t want to put your fate into the hands of the crazy princess who has probably already thought about killing you,” you put your other hand on his chest and stepped closer to him. 

“You’re not putting my fate in her hands. You're putting it in mine,” he said. You moved your hand to the side of his helmet as you looked up at him. You wished you could see his eyes again, feel the warmth of his cheek again. It scared you thinking about losing him to Bo Katan. You knew he was right. You knew there was a good chance that she would leave him alive like he had Gideon but the chance of her killing him was too great for you to feel comfortable leaving him to face her alone. Before you realized what he was doing, his free hand gripped the bottom of his helmet and pulled it off again. His brown eyes found yours again and you couldn’t stop yourself from throwing your arms around his neck and holding him close. He didn’t hesitate to embrace you, helmet in one hand as he wrapped his arms around you. Far too soon, you felt his hand on your arm, gently urging you to let go. You lowered your hands to rest on his chest as you looked up at him again. 

“Ret'urcye mhi,” he said softly, his own eyes studying your face. He pressed his lips to your forehead for just a few seconds. You closed your eyes and held your breath as if you both were trying to savor and memorize the feeling of each other’s skin. 

“We will meet again,” you whispered as his lips disappeared from your skin and you opened your eyes. 

“Go,” he told you as he stepped back and put his helmet back on. You took a deep breath and watched him as he turned to Cara. “Go with them. Rendezvous with Boba. I’ll meet you soon,” he told her. She picked up Gideon again and walked up to Din. 

“Are you sure about this?” she asked. 

“I am.”

“Alright. I’ll keep them safe,” she nodded before turning to look at Fennec. “You coming?” Fennec looked at Cara then you. She gave you this look and at first you couldn’t tell what she was trying to tell you but you could tell she wanted to help. 

“I think I’m gonna stick around. See how it goes,” she said as she shifted her attention to Bo Katan and Koska. 

“We’ll see you,” Cara said, giving Din one last nod before she turned to leave. Though you couldn’t see his eyes now, you and Din exchanged one last look before he nodded. You trusted him with your life but somehow trusting him with his own felt harder. As Cara walked past you, you finally turned and continued out of the bridge. 

“We will meet again.”


	2. Chapter 2

You breathed deeply to keep yourself from crying again as you and Cara made your way through the ship to one of the hangars. For a moment, your sadness gave way to anger. If she killed him, you’d kill her and take the Darksaber yourself. You didn’t want Mandalore but nothing but death itself would stop you from taking it if it meant hurting the one who hurt him. From the hangar opening, you could see the x-wing in the distance for just a moment and your angry resolve dampened with sorrow again as you watched it disappear into the black. Fresh tears rose to your eyes again and you wiped your hand across your face to wipe them away. Again, you struggled to keep yourself steady. Saying it was a long day would have been an understatement.

The pair of you boarded a small shuttle similar to the one that brought you on board. Gideon was bound and unconscious behind you while you and Cara prepped the ship for take off. She noticed your quick breaths and the slight shake of your hands as you reached for various switches and buttons. 

“Hey,” she said, “calm down. Take a few breaths. He can handle himself,” she tried to comfort you. Similar to Din in that way, she wasn’t exactly skilled when it came to giving emotional support. 

“I know,” you said plainly. You kept your attention focused on the task at hand to keep from falling apart after the day you’ve had. “It doesn’t make it any easier though.” 

“I know,” she nodded in solemn agreement, returning her attention back to the ship. It was quick to regroup with Boba. Once the ships were docked and Gideon was secured on Boba’s ship, you had nothing left to do but wait. Cara gave Boba the short version of how things went. To Cara’s surprise, when she came back into the cargo hold, you were sitting on the floor with your eyes closed. She expected you to be pacing and crying after what she had just seen previously but this felt strange to her as she watched you sit perfectly still on the floor. 

You couldn’t be close to him as he underwent this but you could still feel him through the Force. Embracing quiet and stillness as much as you possibly could and focusing your mind, you reached out for him. He was far but not far enough away that you couldn’t reach him. The two of you had a bond that couldn’t be easily shaken by distance alone. It was faint, but you could feel him. 

“As long as he’s alive,” you whispered to yourself. All you could do was monitor him from afar. He was focused and angry. He was fighting, defending himself. You didn’t think you could effectively explain it to your present company but you knew it. It was like his actions echoed through the force and reverberated against you as you reached for him. You felt your breathing increase as you felt him struggle. It continued, this back and forth between him and his attacker for an agonizing amount of time, until a pang of fear shot through him into you. With a gasp, you opened your eyes. 

Cara had been watching your pained expressions as you had sat there but now she had nothing but concern written on her face. 

“Something happened,” you gasped. “I felt it.” 

“What? What happened?” she leaned forward in her seat, tense and ready to launch into action. 

“I- I don’t know,” you stuttered out. Clenching your eyes shut, you tried to breathe and reach for him again. Something was wrong. He wasn’t in pain but it didn’t seem like he was awake either. He was still. Not dead, but very still. “He’s not dead,” you whispered, for yourself but for Cara too. Opening your eyes, you jumped to your feet and Cara followed. “We have to go back,” you demanded. 

The two of you walked into the cockpit. 

“We have to go back. Can we leave Gideon with you for the time being?” Cara announced. 

“Why?” Boba asked simply. 

“Mando is hurt. I think he’s unconscious,” you tried to explain. “I think something bad happened.” Boba continued to stare at you through his helmet. He remembered one of you explaining your connection to the force before, but it didn’t mean anything to him so he didn’t pay it any mind. 

“Alright,” he said finally. You and Cara didn’t waste any time turning and hurrying back to the shuttle still docked to Slave I. Your pace verged on frantic as you ignited the engines and prepared for departure once again. Once disconnected, you took the helm and sped away as fast as possible back to Gideon’s cruiser. Cara found herself watching you. She was concerned about you after everything you’d gone through that day, you weren’t acting like yourself. Your emotions were leading you and that wasn’t always a good thing, especially in the situations you often found yourselves in. 

Boba’s ship was one jump away from the cruiser. It was a quick trip, just like before. When you came out of hyperspace and saw the cruiser looming in front of you, you started to feel hopeful again but then something changed. A small lone ship launched out of it before it lurched forward and disappeared into the black. The sight alarmed both you and Cara but you felt something else. Din’s presence had only gotten stronger for you as you approached the cruiser but now it was gone altogether. 

“No,” you said softly, though you wanted to scream. “No no no no no.” Your breathing shuddered again as Cara continually glanced between you and the ship remaining in front of you. 

“What? What is it?” she asked frantically. 

“He was on the cruiser,” you said. You were trembling again and Cara took the controls. 

“Are you sure?” she asked, turning the shuttle towards the other ship.

“I’m sure,” you answered, too stunned to say much else. 

“Where’s Fennec?” she muttered as she pulled the comm link out of her pocket. “Fennec? Is that you over there? Is Mando with you?” A second or two passed. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” her voice said through the small speaker. “Mando was on the cruiser. Princess decided it wasn’t enough to fight one on one there. She wanted to take it somewhere more public, more witnesses.” 

“Kriff,” you muttered, staring out across the black at Fennec’s ship. 

“What’d she do to him?” Cara asked, glancing at you. 

“He let her beat him. She wasn’t satisfied though, determined to make a big show of it when she really beats him. That’s how she put it.” 

“Dank ferrick,” Cara muttered, lowering the comm link. “We’ll find him,” she told you before raising the comm link again. “Alright. Reconnect with Boba and we’ll meet you at the rendezvous point.” 

“See you there.” 

What now? Boba and Fennec had paid their debt to Din. They helped you find the child and you gave the child away. They were ready to go about their own business. Cara had to deliver Gideon to the New Republic and there was only so much that she would be able to do anyway as a marshal. If there was a gathering of Mandalorians in the Outer Reaches, do you honestly think the New Republic would be keeping tabs on that? The Empire was still alive and rebuilding underneath their noses; there was little chance that they were paying attention to the movements of the likes of Bo Katan and her cohorts. And if Bo were to gather a group of Mandalorians to witness her taking the Darksaber, it’s not likely that the New Republic would know much about it and even if they did, they wouldn’t do anything. No, you were on your own if you were going to track him down. 

Cara and you retrieved Gideon and explained the situation to Boba. If he felt any sympathy for your case, he kept it well hidden. The two of you bid your farewells to Boba and to Fennec before leaving in the shuttle you had stolen from the cruiser. 

“You can come with me to Chandrila,” Cara offered. You shook your head. 

“No,” you responded gently. “The New Republic won’t be able to help us.” You both knew the Republic was mostly in the dark when it came to underworld comings and goings and since the Great Purge, Mandalorians had learned to live like ghosts. You needed someone who knew the underworld but would also be willing to help for little to no cost to you. Then an idea dawned on you. “Take me to Takodana.” 

“What’s on Takodana?” she asked. 

“A friend who might be able to help me,” you answered, a small smile on your lips as you thought of her. Maz was as old as time and knew, well, nearly everyone. If anyone could help you, you’d put your money on her. 

“Should I meet you there after dropping Gideon in prison?” she asked, looking at you. It surprised you a little. You had assumed that she’d be getting back to Nevarro until you had a significant lead or until you were ready to go after Bo Katan herself. 

“Yeah,” you answered. You paused a moment, thinking about the task at hand. “At least when we were searching for the kid, Mando and I had each other. I thought I’d be alone searching for him.” 

“Of course not,” she added. “He’s my friend too.” 

  
  


On Takodana, you could feel her presence from the moment you landed. She was here and hopefully, she would be able to help you. You slowed your pace in the courtyard to look up at the statue of her that loomed over everyone who passed through the gates. ‘Looming’ probably isn’t the right word. Maz was nothing if not welcoming and hospitable, but she was as formidable a being as you would ever find in the galaxy. 

You weren’t a stranger to her castle by any means but you hadn’t been there in many years. It hadn’t changed. Everything about it was still the same. Smugglers and pirates and other ne’er-do-wells filled the place all to take advantage of Maz Kanata’s generous hospitality. Here you could always find a warm meal and a bed for the night with no questions asked. No fighting was the only rule and it was taken very seriously. This was a place of refuge for some of the most dangerous people in the galaxy. You wandered inside, keeping an eye out for Maz. She was close and no doubt knew you were here already. 

“And what have you come searching for this time?” her gentle voice asked from behind you. Turning to see her, you couldn’t help but smile a little and suddenly you felt guilty for feeling any joy while Din was god knows where. She stood a few feet behind you on top of a bench with her hands on her hips. 

“A Mandalorian,” you answered her. “Well, multiple Mandalorians really.” 

“A tall order these days. Word is there aren’t many left,” she replied calmly. She looked you over from head to toe and squinted. “Come closer,” she waved you over to her. Following her order, you stepped closer to her until she was inches away from you. She tilted her head and examined your face further. You knew how she was so you didn’t move, just let her observe and come to her own conclusions. “You’ve changed,” she paused. “This Mandalorian is special to you.” You nodded, all the emotion of the last day stirring inside you again. “Oh, child,” her expression softened and her hands fell from her hips. She held her hands out in front of her, offering them to you. You put your hands in hers and felt a comfort that Cara, nor any of the others, could have given. Maz could understand you with just a glance. She taught you much of what you know of the Force and was exceedingly perceptive. You thought of all the events that had led to Din’s kidnapping, knowing she would be able to feel them as you did. “I will do what I can,” she gave you a soft smile. 

“Thank you,” you said quietly. 

“I’ll do it for love,” she let her smile grow into a grin. You felt yourself balk a moment at the implication of your love for the Mandalorian, though you knew it to be true. You knew how perceptive she was and how unflinchingly honest she could be. And, like always, she was right. You loved him, though you had never said it aloud before.

“Thank you,” you repeated, a small smile on your lips and tears threatening to build up in your eyes as you thought of your Mandalorian again. 

“First, you should rest,” she added, releasing your hands and hopping down from the bench. “Eat. Drink. Sleep. And I will see what I can find out.” So that’s what you did. You ate quickly and alone before a droid showed you to a room. 

After losing the Razor Crest, you didn’t really have anything to carry with you. You had the clothes on your back, a blaster at your side, and a kyber crystal secured on a piece of string around your neck. You didn’t have much else to do but put your blaster on the table by the bed and lay down. It didn’t feel right to be sleeping in a nice bed while you didn’t know where he was. You didn’t know if he was injured or if someone was tending his wounds. If he was conscious. If they had arrived wherever they were going. If Bo Katan had killed him already. It made you want to cry but you couldn’t anymore. No tears came, only pain and the fear that you’ve already lost him. 

Closing your eyes as you laid back on the bed, you remembered the image of his face on the bridge. His brown eyes, shining with tears. The wrinkles around his eyes. The way his hair fell on his forehead. The curve of his lips. How they felt pressed against your forehead. Tears came into your eyes again as you remembered the fleeting feeling of his lips on your skin. You wished you had the chance to kiss him before… before he was gone. Before he was taken from you. You took a deep breath and rolled over in the bed, pulling the blankets around you. You imagined how it would feel to show him how you feel, to finally be able to express that affection in an ordinary way, like any other couple in the galaxy might. In your mind you imagined pressing your forehead to his and feeling his nose brush yours. You imagined feeling his breath on your skin just before your lips touch in the gentle, hesitant kiss of two people who have until that point never allowed themselves such intimacy. You knew it was a dream but after the way he treated you on the bridge of Gideon’s cruiser, you wondered if that dream was as distant from reality as you had previously thought. 

Even if it was only a dream, you knew you wouldn’t know peace until he was at your side again. 


	3. Chapter 3

His bare hands reached for your face, gently turning your head to the side so he could examine a cut on your cheek. It wasn’t deep or even painful, but you let him clean it and bandage it anyway. It was the only time your skin really ever touched, when one of you was injured. In this context, his touch was comfortable and familiar. It wasn’t anything like the feel of his lips or the stubble on his jaw that you felt on the bridge of Gideon’s cruiser. This was known and deliberate and born out of necessity. He had a task to accomplish and once he was done, his hands were gone from you. But this time, something changed. His firm touch on your jaw lightened and you felt his hand ghost down over to the side of your neck as his thumb gently rubbed your cheek. You turned your head to look at him, surprised at the sudden change. As comfortable as his touch when tending your wounds, he bent forward a little as you leaned your forehead against the visor of his helmet. You felt a smile pull at your lips as you felt the cool beskar on your face and the warmth of his bare skin on your neck. You felt safe, but then you felt his touch disappear, as if it had never been there to begin with. Rubbing your eyes, you felt the crushing sensation of reality wash the dream away from you, like a wave crashing on the shore before returning to the sea. You sat up in bed before opening your eyes. 

“Of course,” you muttered as you stretched in place. You did what you needed to ready yourself for the day and headed back into the common areas of the castle. Maz greeted you as you saw down to eat. 

“I have good news,” she announced sitting across from you at the small table. “There have been reports of an Imperial Light Cruiser showing up on Coruscant within the last day.” You paused, nearly dropping the spoon in your hand. 

“Could be them,” you said, more to yourself than to Maz. 

“As for a gathering of Mandalorians,” she began, “I haven’t heard anything.” 

“It could still be them,” you added softly, setting your spoon back in your bowl. “But Coruscant?” you thought aloud. You hadn’t heard anything about that planet in years.

“The word now is that it’s overrun by warring crime syndicates. It’s a chaos that the New Republic has given up policing. They have almost no presence there anymore,” she said leaning back in her seat. You mulled it over a moment, thinking about the possibilities. The galaxy was vast and Bo Katan could be anywhere. Even though your first instinct at the thought of one of the Core Worlds was to reject it, the news about Coruscant felt right. “You should trust your instincts.” Your eyes snapped back to Maz as she spoke, interrupting your thoughts. “Your connection to the Force is stronger than I’ve ever seen it in you. Use it. Trust it, and you will find him again,” she smiled at you. You weren’t sure what to say.

“Thank you, Maz. Really, for everything,” you nodded with an appreciative smile before returning to your meal, with new eagerness. You had somewhere to go now and things to do. 

Cara was going to meet you there on Takodana after her business with Gideon and you had intended on waiting for her but now you felt the urge to keep moving. If you knew where he was, then you didn’t know if you could stand waiting a day or two before leaving to find him. As you considered leaving on your own, you felt an urge to stay. You would be better equipped to find them with Cara’s assistance. Maz leaves you to take care of her own business while you’re lost in your own thoughts. You didn’t know when Cara would arrive but you knew she understood the urgency of the situation and that allowed you to calm yourself a little. She would be here as soon as she could, you reminded yourself over and over in your mind. 

With your unknown amount of down time, you took to the forest nearby and tried to practice using what abilities you had through the Force. You meditated for a time then took to lifting and throwing whatever you could. Rocks and rotten logs were beginning to become relatively easy. While wandering through the woods, you came upon an old ship. It had been overrun by vines and moss and parts of it were rusted all the way through. Perhaps, you mused, a new challenge. Hands outstretched, you breathed deep and steady as you imagined reaching beneath the small craft and lifting. It was heavier than anything else you’d tried to move before and before you knew it you were straining to lift it. Eyes clenched shut, you struggled against it, determined to move it, to prove to yourself your own strength. Slowly, it began to shift but you couldn’t rejoice. The weight of it was too great and you felt yourself falter. The ship dropped back down the few inches that it had moved as you felt yourself give out. You fell to your knees and stared at it. 

Now, you weren’t really concerned about this ship, not the ship itself. You wanted to feel stronger. Din was always the more impressive one out of the two of you. He was a protector for you and the child, even though there were times when the child protected you both. You never felt like you were on the same level as he was. He had been trained to use almost every weapon you could think of from the time he was found by the Mandalorians as a child. You had supernatural perception and quick reflexes which were beneficial to be sure but they were never as powerful as he was, or the child for that matter. They never felt like they had comparable usefulness in the various scrapes you and your little family had found yourselves in. But if you could be stronger. If you could stop someone in their tracks or lift great objects or stop a blast from a gun in mid-air, then maybe you could feel like his equal. Maybe you could feel like you really belonged together. 

Sitting in the dirt, you decided to reach out again, feeling for him, even though you knew deep down he was out of your reach. You could feel the energy around you stretch out in all directions. The flurry of activity at the castle. Ships buzzing in and out of the atmosphere. Giant flocks of birds in the trees. Fish in the lakes. You recoiled into yourself, disappointed but not surprised. Feeling the exhaustion from your efforts in the forest, you began to walk back. As you neared the castle, you noticed a Lambda shuttle approaching through the clouds above. In a moment, you knew who it was and breathed a sigh of relief. Your exhaustion eased a little as you hurried to where it was landing. 

You had to force yourself to wait patiently for her to disembark, and when she did you couldn’t stop the smile on your face as you approached. 

“I’ve got a lead,” you announced, forgoing any other greetings. 

“That’s great,” Cara couldn’t hide her surprise. 

“Coruscant. The word is that an Imperial Light Cruiser just showed up,” you said. 

“Coruscant?” she repeated and paused, thinking on it for a moment. “What’s the plan?” 

“I don’t know,” you realized you hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. 

“You think she’s just going to let you walk in through the front door and walk right back out with him,” Cara scoffed. You raised your eyebrows and gave it a thought. 

“I don’t know about walking right back out, but I don’t imagine she would have a problem with me speaking to him. She doesn’t see me as a threat. I’m barely involved at all. I’m not even a Mandalorian,” you replied. “Getting him out is a different story,” you said with a sigh. “If I could just get in there and talk to him, maybe we could figure out a plan to get him out of this.” 

“So we’re just going to show up and ask to see him?” Cara asked. 

“Pretty much,” you answered. “Once we get in and get a feel for the situation, we can plan an escape.” Cara looked you over once more, just to gauge your confidence in this plan, before she nodded.

“Alright.” She glanced at the castle in the distance. “Let me eat and refuel first, and we’ll get going.” 

It had been a bit over a day since you were separated from him. As you sat in the cockpit of the shuttle with Cara again, you felt a surge of hope. If he was still alive, and you felt strongly that he was, you’d see him again soon. The flight to Coruscant felt longer than it was, even though the two of you slept a good part of the way while in hyperspace. Maz’s intel proved valuable when you spotted the cruiser in the distance almost immediately after entering the atmosphere. You nearly punched Cara awake when you saw it and she nearly punched you back on instinct, but she stopped when she saw it too. You were close and you could feel yourself buzzing with energy at the thought of seeing him again. Cara navigated the ship towards the cruiser as you tried to reach out and confirm he was there, but he wasn’t. 

“Wait,” you said suddenly, holding a hand up. Not on the cruiser, somewhere below in the city. “He’s in the city, not on the cruiser.” 

“Are you sure? Where is he then?” she asked, slowing the ship’s speed. 

“I don’t know. There’s so many people,” you sighed. “It’s like searching for a needle in a haystack.” 

“Well, there’s got to be someone down there who knows where they are,” Cara shifted your course down into the city. “We’ll have to do this the old fashioned way.” 

You didn’t know what to expect on Coruscant. In the days of the Old Republic it was supposed to be the capital and center of the galaxy, a hub for culture, science, and politics. Now, it seemed, well, dingy for lack of a better word. The whole place seemed slightly gloomy from what you could tell. You and Cara marched down the streets, armed like most other people seemed to be. Every shop, restaurant, and cantina you walked into, you looked around and asked a few people if they’d seen any Mandalorians recently. You spent hours searching the area near where the cruiser was parked. Cara was about to suggest you try checking the cruiser for Bo Katan or her pals anyway, when she saw you stop in your tracks as you walked into another little diner. 

“What is it?” she asked. You turned to face her, hiding your face from whatever you had just seen. 

“I know him,” you said. “He was with Bo Katan when we first met on Trask.” You took a brief moment to prepare yourself, then you turned the corner, not waiting to explain anything to Cara. You approached the Mandalorian, Axe Woves, who sat alone, eating with his helmet on the table. 

“Remember me?” you said, stopping in front of him. He stared up at you a moment, not surprised or startled but unsure. “We met on Trask, several weeks ago.” 

“Yeah, and?” he leaned back in his seat, eyeing Cara standing behind you with her hand on her blaster. 

“I need to find Bo Katan. She took something from me,” you explained, expression stern and unchanging. “Where is she?” He shifted in his seat and looked you over, his own hand settling on the blaster on his hip.

“My understanding was that he sent you away and left with her,” he said finally.

“Where is she?” you repeated. He chuckled once and watched Cara as she took a step forward. After a moment, he shrugged and looked at you again.

“I can take you to her,” he answered. 

“Thank you,” you added, maintaining your serious facade. Inside, you felt relief. He put his helmet on and walked out of the shop, Cara and you following behind. You walked through the streets for a while then followed him into a new building and into the elevator. There were hundreds of floors to this building and he pushed the button for one of the top floors. In the elevator you tried to reach out again for him, hoping to confirm this man was taking you to the right place and not into a trap. Almost immediately, you could feel him. He was distraught and anxious. You could picture him pacing back and forth, like you knew he did when he was frustrated and had nothing to do. You wished you could tell him you were coming, that you were doing everything you could to return to him. It wasn’t until this moment that you wondered if he would even want you to be here. He wanted you to leave, to stay out of harm’s way. He wanted you to be safe, not fighting your way back to him, not putting yourself right back in the mess with him. Well, it was too late, you were involved. You braced yourself for the reprimand you were sure to get when you saw him again. 

Finally, you stopped and the doors opened. He led you down a hallway and through another set of doors. Through the windows that lined the hall, you could see the city surrounding you. Bo Katan must have some connections in the underworld to secure quarters like this. He led you into a large room with various benches and tables and seats suitable for lounging. It seemed odd considering her militaristic mission of retaking a planet to set up in what was essentially a high rise apartment, but you didn’t let that distract you from your only priority. Koska Reeves walked out from around the corner of the room. She smirked at the sight of you staring her down. 

“Should have known you wouldn’t stay away,” she said. She eyed Cara before motioning for you to follow her. Axe, the man who brought you there, stayed where he was as you followed Koska through another door and down another hall. 

“Where is he?” you couldn’t stop yourself from asking. 

“Here,” she stopped outside a door, not more than a yard into the hallway. Pressing the keypad by the door, she opened it for you. Looking in, you felt your heart pound when you saw Din in full armor looking back at you, frozen in place where he was probably pacing. You didn’t hesitate to walk in when you saw he was alright, not stopping until your fingertips touched his armor. Cara followed you in as Koska watched from the door a moment before walking away the way you had come. 

“Are you alright?” you asked, looking him over before turning your gaze up to his helmet. You held each other by your forearms with your own on top of his.

“I’m fine,” he answered, still a little stunned to see you here. His hands gripped your elbows and held you there in front of him, like he needed to convince himself you were right there and he needed to keep you right there with him. 

“We came to bust you out,” Cara said just loud enough for the three of you. 

“You can’t,” he answered, looking to her and dropping his hands from your arms. “I have to fight her.”

“You’ve done enough. She can take the saber for herself anytime she wants. You shouldn’t have to fight her a second time,” Cara said. 

“I let her win. She won’t be satisfied until she feels like she earned it,” he explained. “I have to give her what she wants, or she won’t let me know peace.” 

“Then I’m staying with you until it’s done,” you told him. He looked at you again. You expected him to refuse, to tell you to go somewhere safe until he takes care of this but he didn’t say anything. “Wherever you go, I go,” you reminded him. You still expected a little pushback but you didn’t find it, instead he nodded. 

“I know,” he said plainly. It made you smile, to know he felt the same, to know he understood how you felt. It was the first time he had acknowledged it to you, at least verbally. 

“So what do we do?” Cara asked, looking between you and Din. 

“Nothing,” he said. “This is something I have to take care of myself.” Cara was visibly disappointed. She wanted desperately for a way to help her friend out of this mess but there was no obvious solution other than the one that Din had presented. Even if she was angry about it, there was nothing she could do if this is how he wanted to handle this. 

“Well, when’s this fight supposed to happen anyway?” she asked finally. 

“Don’t know,” he answered. “Soon.” 

“She’s waiting to draw a crowd,” you add quietly. 

“Then I’ll stay on Coruscant until it happens,” she replied. “I’m not going to leave you either.” He didn’t respond, just stayed still and silent like he often was. You knew he was grateful for her support but this kind of open display of friendship made him uncomfortable. He was never sure how to respond to something like this. Cara looked back and forth between you and Din for a moment before speaking again. “I’m assuming your version of staying with him is different than mine, so take this,” she held out a comm link to you and you had to force yourself to take it after her opening statement threw you off guard. It made your cheeks warm a little and you had to fight the urge to refute or perhaps clarify her statement for her. “I’ll grab the other one from the ship and stand by. Keep me informed on what’s going on. If things go sour, I want to be there,” she said, her gaze travelling from you to Din. She exchanged nods with the both of you and after taking a deep breath and one last look at the pair of you, she left. 

Once she was gone, you realized you hadn’t even really looked at the room they had him in. The furniture was all rounded in its shape. A double bed sat against the right wall. Windows stretched the entirety of the wall opposite the door. It was nearing sunset beyond the towering buildings and ships buzzing around through the air. A table and two chairs sat in front of the windows near the left wall. The Darksaber sat on the table. A wardrobe sat against the left wall. A few plants in spherical pots were littered around in the corners of the room. Everything was clean and smooth and neutral colors, like cream and beige, except for the bed furnishings. The blankets were deep blue, a stark contrast to all the other colors in the room. It wasn’t much different to your Mandalorian standing in the center of what would have been such a domestic scene, but here he was all metal, silver and gray and black, surrounded by the smooth, soft lines and colors of this bedroom. 

When you looked back at Din, he was watching you. Even if you couldn’t see his eyes, you knew. You could feel varying emotions bubbling inside him, some sad and some closer to gratitude and some even akin to happiness. Looking up at his visor, you wanted desperately for him to say anything about the last two days, or anything really. You could feel how he wanted to. He was different than he was before. His emotions were more exposed and raw, tender even, than they had been in the entire time you’d known him. Tentatively, he reached for your hand, brushing his fingers against the back of your hand. Before he could take it in his own, the sound of someone approaching in the hall caused him to drop his hands back to his sides again. A droid appeared at the door with a tray of food, rolling on in to deposit it on the table. Koska stepped up behind it but stopped just inside the door. 

“I take it you won’t be leaving this time,” she cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. 

“No, I won’t be,” you answered plainly. She nodded, looking you over once before leaving again. The droid followed her out. You turned your attention back to Din. “Is this how they’ve been treating you? Like a prisoner?” 

“I’ve been treated worse,” he said. 

“That’s not the point,” you replied. “Stars,” you took a deep breath and walked further into the room. “This is such a weird situation.” You ran your hands over your hair as you stared out the wall of windows in front of you. You let out a deep sigh and dropped your hands. “What happened?” He didn’t have an answer for you, at least not one that he wanted to talk about. You didn’t turn when you heard him step up behind you. There was sadness in him and a yearning for comfort, similar to how you felt yourself. Neither of you had a chance to process the events of the last days. Too much had happened but now you were together again, alone in this quiet bedroom. It all started to bubble up in both of you, the sadness and fear and anxiety. You felt his fingertips make contact with your back and slowly the rest of his hand followed as he came up to stand at your side. Finally feeling the weight of the last days, you closed your eyes as you turned and pressed your head against his chestplate. His other arm wrapped around you as his hand stayed planted on your back like a weight to keep you steady. Eyes closed tight, you let him hold you, knowing you both needed this. As grateful as you were for any contact with him, you still found yourself wishing that you could feel him without his armor. You wished you could feel like just two humans embracing, no metal in between. 

When he suddenly shifted, moving your entire body with his, you didn’t know what was going on. Your head snapped up to look but it was just the same droid again, delivering a second plate of food. It startled him too, causing him to pull you to the side so he was between you and the door. You didn’t even hear the door open. When he held you like that, there was nothing but him. You didn’t know if you could think while he held you like that. The few times he had, you just let yourself revel in the feeling, abandoning every thought that wasn’t him. You hadn’t needed to when you were in his arms. It felt like the safest place you’d ever been. 

When the droid was gone, he pulled away from you, leaving you alone by the window while he shut the door and locked it. He walked back to you, but didn’t take you back into his arms.

“Are you hungry?” he asked. You thought a moment before shrugging. 

“I could eat,” you answer, softly. Knowing he probably wanted to eat too, you took it upon yourself to go and pick up a plate. Pausing, you looked at him. “You sit at the table. I’ll sit over here,” you say as you move to the bed on the other side of the room. You take a seat on the bed, facing away from him towards the wall. You could feel his surprise at your decision but it seemed perfectly natural for the two of you. You know you saw his face on the bridge but you had no way of knowing if he wanted to show it to you again. You couldn’t know if he was comfortable with it and you didn’t dare ask it of him. You didn’t know what the events on the bridge of Gideon’s cruiser meant for his creed but you wouldn’t press him on it. It was something only he could decide. If he wanted you to see his face again, he would show you. As a result, the two of you ate silently on opposite sides of the room. You didn’t even remember eating most of the meal; you let your mind go blank as you ate. Like most other meals you shared, he was done before you. His helmet was already back in place on his head by the time you turned around to place your plate back on the table. 

You returned to the bed to sit on the edge facing him this time. 

“What are we gonna do?” you asked quietly. You couldn’t tell if you wanted an answer or not. Your hands gripped the edge of the bed, feeling the fabric of the comforter between your fingers. It was the softest bed you’d felt in a long time. 

“After this,” he said, pausing for several moments, “work. Go back to bounty hunting probably.” 

“We don’t have a ship,” you reply, staring ahead at the floor. 

“We’ll find one.” You heard him stand and take the tray and your plates to the door. He placed them outside the door and locked it back before taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed. Glancing over your shoulder, you could see him mirroring you. It was quiet for a time again. You were used to the quiet with him. This wasn’t much different, but you could feel him wanting to speak to you. He was trying to find the words or the courage to say it. You didn’t speak first, just waited until he was ready to speak again. 

“You don’t have to stay with me,” he said finally. “You could have gone with the jedi.” It caught you off guard. You hadn’t expected him to say anything like that and you weren’t sure what to say next. 

“Din,” you said, shifting around to look at him. It felt like a blow to your chest, the thought of leaving him like that. “I didn’t want to go with him.” 

“Why? You could be so much more if you learned how to do what he could.” He sat motionless on the other side of the bed. 

“Din, I-” you tried to figure out how to explain it. You’d never talked about this with him before. Somehow it hadn’t come up. Either you didn’t think he would understand or it didn’t seem relevant at the time. “I don’t want to be a jedi,” you sighed. “I can use the Force but the jedi are something else. I’ve read about them,” you explained. “I’ve even met one before who tried to teach me but, I don’t want to be a jedi.” Now, he turned around to look at you, obviously surprised. “I met a jedi knight years ago who offered to teach me everything he knew but I just-” you paused and sighed again. “I didn’t want to follow their rules. I didn’t want the life of a jedi; devoid of attachments, forsaking a family or relationships. I didn’t want it. I don’t want it.” 

“What do you want?” his voice was softer than normal, like a whisper.

“I want a loving partnership with someone. And a family,” you took a deep breath to steady yourself before you added, “like what we had with Grogu.” A weak smile flickered on your face as you felt tears well up in your eyes again. Even with his face hidden behind the helmet, you couldn’t hold his gaze. Sniffling a little, you turned back to face away from him. The room was silent for a while as you sat there. 

Outside the windows, the sun was long gone and you could see lights poking holes in the darkness that blanketed the city. The room itself had grown dim and neither of you had moved to turn on a light. You back began to ache from sitting in the same position for so long, so finally, you stood up. After stretching a little, you took off your holster and deposited it and your blaster on the small table nearby. You pulled off your boots and socks and pulled the covers down on the bed. He still sat on the other side of the bed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. The silence wasn’t comfortable anymore. You weren’t sure what you wished he would do but you just wished he would do it already. You knew he wanted to and sometimes it just took him time to bring himself to do or say what he wanted, so you waited. You slid into the bed, lying on your side and facing away from him. For a little while longer, you watched the lights of ships flurrying past outside the windows, until you felt him lift off the bed. He walked over to the windows and tapped a button near the wall, dimming the windows and blocking out most of the light coming in from the city outside. You could hardly see anything but shapes and shadows as you rolled over to lay on your back. Out of habit, you slung an arm over your face as you shut your eyes. Sleep seemed as good as anything now, if it meant you’d have relief from the silent tension between the two of you. But when you felt the blankets move and the weight of his body sink into the bed beside you, you began to pay attention again. 

He shifted in the bed beside you and then you felt his bare fingers on your wrist, gently lifting your arm off of your face. His voice was soft as a whisper when he breathed your name and you realized, his helmet was off. Your eyes opened out of surprise but stared straight above you, not daring to look over. You wouldn’t unless he wanted you to. You’d slept in the same bed before but only ever out of necessity. Sometimes it was because there was genuinely only one bed wherever you were and you refused to make him sleep on the floor. Sometimes it was for the sake of warmth. He’d always kept the helmet on though. He hadn’t taken it off in this context with you before. You didn’t know where he was going with this and it both thrilled and scared you at the same time. 

“Please,” he whispered, “you’ve already seen my face.” If he was asking you to look, you knew he must have been sure of his decision. It was always something he handled with the utmost reverence. You let your eyes creep over to him before you turned your head. It was dim but you could just make out the shape of his face. You shifted to lay on your side so you could look at him. You could see where his eyes were and where his hair fell on his forehead. He kept his hand on your wrist as he lifted your hand to his face. You couldn’t stop yourself from feeling him. The hair on his jaw and cheeks. The heat of his skin beneath your fingertips. The tender devotion and longing that emanated from him. It was overwhelming. He pressed your hand against his cheek like you had held his face before, but this time, there was no rush. There was no one else around you. There was only the two of you lying parallel to each other in that bed, finally releasing all the emotions that had been brought to the surface over the last days.

Turning his head, he pressed his lips to your palm. You took a sharp breath in at the gesture. It made you want to cry. The two of you had felt so strongly about each other for so long and never had he done anything like that. You knew you’d loved him for months and you never acted on it. You never knew if he felt the same and when you began to suspect he did, you didn’t want to rush or force any affection or intimacy considering his creed. You didn’t think there was a chance of him showing you this sort of affection, but you craved it all the same. His breath brushed across your hand and you could feel his nose press against your thumb. You couldn’t tell if you were laughing or crying or if you just couldn’t breathe right with him touching you like this, but you knew you never wanted him to stop. He pulled your hand back to his cheek, his hand resting atop yours, and looked back to your face. You could feel his jaw move as he opened his mouth to speak then closed it again. 

“You could still-” he cut himself off, pausing for a second. “We could still- We could have a family again.” You felt his breathing shudder and you rubbed your thumb against his cheek, hoping to encourage him. “Like before. Like what we had with Grogu.” You couldn’t stop the tears from coming this time. They spilled over before you had a chance to try and stop them. You could feel his demeanor change when he realized you were crying. He was alarmed and confused, afraid he overstepped or maybe shouldn’t have said anything to begin with. You just shook your head to try and dismiss his concerns. 

“Is that what you want?” you choked out. You picked up your hand from his cheek to push your fingers into his hair, letting his hand trail down your arm to rest near your elbow. His hair was so soft, as soft as you had imagined it would be.

“I mean, not now,” he said, “but after all this, yes.” You weren’t sure if he could see the smile on your face but you hoped he could. Your other hand reached out for him, finally meeting his chest. You pressed your hand flat against him, feeling him breathing just as hard as you were beneath his shirt. 

“Can I-,” you began, pausing to take a breath, “Can I kiss you?” It might have seemed silly to ask considering there was little doubt in your mind now that he felt the same way you did, but you had never kissed him before and you couldn’t imagine that he’d kissed many people in his life. You saw the way he reacted when Grogu touched his face. You didn’t want to cross that boundary before he was ready. He was grateful you couldn’t see his lips tremble when you asked him that. His hand reached out beneath the blankets and found your waist as he tried to shift a little closer to you. 

“Yes.” 

If you were going to do this, you wanted to give him a proper kiss, just like you’d dreamed of doing so many times. Shifting beside him, you propped yourself up on one elbow so that your face hovered above his. You were so close, the closest you’d ever been. His breath brushed across your cheek as you brushed your nose against his. You stayed there a moment as a smile crossed your lips and you grazed your fingers over his cheek again, until finally you felt his lips beneath yours. And there it was. The most delicate and careful and loving kiss you had ever shared in your life. It didn’t last more than a few seconds but as your lips left his, you felt his arm gently pulling your closer. Your own eyes fluttering open, you could tell his eyes were still closed and the corners of his lips were turned up just enough to be considered a smile. It was encouragement enough to kiss him again. Pressing your lips to his again, you felt him move and his other arm slid beneath you to wrap around and let his hand rest on your back, urging you ever closer. You were careful not to overwhelm him as you kissed him over and over again as gently and sweetly as you knew he deserved. His own lips parted as he met yours with his own affection, finally feeling confident enough to share with you just how much he wanted this too. You don’t know how long you stayed like that, pressed together with his arms around you as you kissed. 

When you finally paused, you let your forehead rest against his. A smile settled on your face as you laid there, pressed against him. His hand at your waist slid down to the hem of your shirt and made its way underneath. When his fingertips met your skin, you felt yourself take a deep breath in. You could feel his breathing get heavier as he slid his hand over the bare skin of your back. Every touch felt like it’s own heaven, compounding on one another until you couldn’t feel anything but each other. Your worries of the day were long gone and nothing else mattered but the man in your arms. It was intoxicating. After having been separated by armor, leather and metal, for the entirety of your relationship, just being able to feel his body under your hands, his chest against your own and his legs bumping against yours beneath the blankets, overwhelmed any other thoughts in your mind. 

You felt like you should say something. Like you should address what he said earlier about wanting a family with you. Did he understand that you wanted that with him too? Or was he afraid to assume that you felt the same? You didn’t exactly say ‘yes, I want that too,’ but you definitely didn’t say no. 

“Din,” you whispered. His hands froze and his eyes opened to look up at you. You could feel his eyelashes brush against your cheek as he blinked. “I- I love you.” He didn’t move. His breathing didn’t change. He just silently accepted it. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s okay if you’re not ready to say anything. I understand,” you added. “I just wanted to say it.” You took a deep breath before lifting your forehead from his to give him a kiss there, like he had given you before. Nothing left to say, you laid back down against the pillow beside him, faces close enough the tips of your noses could just barely touch. You took your hand from his hair and wrapped an arm around him. 

He didn’t speak again for a while. He just pulled you closer against him so your whole body was touching him. He had a leg between yours, your torsos were flush against each other, and your face had come to rest against his shoulder at the base of his neck. He kept his cheek against your forehead as his fingers traced their way up and down your spine beneath your shirt. You didn’t think there could be a more comforting feeling than this. The beat of his heart and the warmth of his body was enough to relax you to the edge of sleep and you were about to fall off the edge when you felt him swallow and clear his throat. You could feel him take a deep breath before speaking. 

“ _Gar gana ner kar’ta,_ ” he whispered. You didn’t understand the words but the way he said them sounded like a dream. You wondered if you were already dreaming. 

“Mm?” you made a small noise, wondering what he said but too close to sleep to speak. He was silent a few moments more before he finally replied.

“You have my heart.” 


End file.
